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The letter

Submitted by on 1, April 1, 2009 – 7:00 am2 Comments

A few weeks ago, superblogger Lauren Do posted a letter she said had been circulating around City Hall that claimed Mayor Beverly Johnson, working with campaign rival Doug deHaan, was scheming to combine the city’s police and fire departments and that she planned to fire City Manager Debra Kurita if she didn’t go along.

Of course, my reaction was shock. Why didn’t I get a copy of that letter? Aren’t I doing a good job of covering this Island?

Anyway. I was cleaning out my kid’s diaper bag the other day when I found an envelope under a clump of dried blueberries and a pile of dirty clothes. I wiped a glob of sunscreen off the front. It was addressed to me. It had an Oakland postmark. And the return address had been blacked out with what smelled like Sharpie!

With trembling hands, I ripped open the envelope. (Then I wiped the rest of the sunscreen off my hands. It was the greasy kind. Yuck.) And inside was another letter, dated January 11, just like the first. More bold predictions, and more black Sharpie.

You wanna know what was in it? Well, here ya go! The letter in its entirety (full text reposted below).

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January 11, 2009

[redacted]

[redacted]

[redacted] Beverly Johnson, in concert with Councilman Doug deHaan, intends to combine the police, fire, power and sewer departments. Her plan of action:

1.    Fire police, fire and sewer directors – justification = I don’t need a justification, I’m the mayor, dammit
2.    Replace all three with Director of Public Safety, Power and Sewage
3.    Combine departments – justification = don’t want to turn into Vallejo
4.    Should the City Manager refuse to fire the Police Chief or Fire Chief or Sewer Chief, the City Manager will be fired by June 2009 – justification = Hey. We’re doing her a favor (no more seven-hour council meetings)
5.    New entity will be called Alameda Community Response and Power, Sewer (Alameda CRAPS)
6.    Put AMP director in charge – Has already proven he can spin s@!t into gold
7.    Credit goes to Johnson, blame to Proposition P, firefighters, golf course, etc. And whose stupid f@#!ig idea was Prop P, anyway? Must have been Matarrese

[redacted]

The above may be verified by contacting the following sources:

Sewer Department
Police/Fire Chiefs
Park Street Business Association
Bill Smith

[redacted]

Please do not reveal your source as it would absolutely, positively, most definitely – and I mean, really – have a negative impact on me. Seriously, I’m not kidding. Keep your d@!# mouth shut, already!

Sincerely,

[redacted]

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